Archives of Our Lives

{a narrow and broad look into the lives of people I love}

Monday, August 6, 2007

Kicking Myself Later...

I am a girl of extremes. If I do something, I do it dramatically and with fervor. Sometimes that is a good characteristic, like when playing a major role in a ward Road Show. Other times, however, it is less good...

...Like how I don't usually get embarrassed, but when it happens, I can't forget about it--I'm a dweller. I either let it bounce off me, or I get embarrassed to the max. I can still remember, for example, the time I was 13 and took my best friend to a ward outing and we met some boys to whom I made the comment, "Mountain View sucks butt!" and immediately regretted it. Quite horrific, and it was even around a campfire, so the boys couldn't really see us. I felt so silly, though, and am dwelling on it almost 8 years later.

Practising pirate faces can be embarrassing if captured on the digital memory of a camera...

Another time, I was riding in the backseat of a Volkswagen Jetta. There were two boys in the front seat: one I had a little inkling for, the other was his friend (who later turned out to propose to me). And I asked the first boy--the inkling boy--flat-out if he had a girlfriend (when it was obvious he'd been flirting with me all night). I thought it would be funny, but it turned out that he actually was seeing another girl at the time, so there was a pregnant pause and then he replied, "Yes". I then turned to the other boy, mortified, and tried to save face. "Oh, well," I said casually, "then you and I should go on a date sometime!" A voice inside my head was saying, "Camille, you are a complete idiot! You should be locked up and fed sardines on saltines for the rest of your life--you don't deserve to exist in public." Amazingly enough, boy #2 agreed to going out with me, and somehow grew to love the dork-off that is me. (Either that, or he is marrying me out of the same pity he felt for me that night.)

I wonder why I have such a hard time forgiving myself my trespasses...

Sometimes I think it is going to be so wonderful to move to Canada, where very few people know the real me. That way, when I get there, I can start fresh, and always think before I speak, and then maybe nobody will ever find out about how socially backwards I actually am at times. Canada is a sweet escape.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh camille you are not socailly backwards! We love you just the way you are. It makes life tons of fun.

August 6, 2007 at 10:15 AM  
Blogger lindser-lou said...

i miss you camille.

i think we need to have an ALIAS weekend...just for old times sake.

(oh yes, and how lame am i? That i see the cute feet picture you have at the top of your blog and notice that the far left pair are Chelsie's.....this is sad for 2 reasons: 1. That i even knew that those were chelsie's feet and 2. i got a little sad and had to tell myself not to cry a little.)

i didnt know i was so emotionally attatched to that girl! Geez!!!

August 6, 2007 at 12:38 PM  
Blogger Miss Kim Fontes said...

Camille every one of your posts brings me a smile and good laugh! Isnt it really the worst though when you say something and then immidiately wish you haden't! I am very similar to you when you said "i have a hard time forgetting the embarrassing moments", I tend to dwell a long time on them and hope that no one remembers my idiocy because i know i always will!:)

August 8, 2007 at 9:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know what it's like to blurt something out that someone in the group feels is inappropriate..."Look Davies! That's the door where you and your cute little philly will come out of!" Boy did I feel sheepish as you brought the car to a screeching halt in the middle of the road. It's a Rendezvous Davies!

August 13, 2007 at 10:14 AM  

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