Archives of Our Lives

{a narrow and broad look into the lives of people I love}

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Small Talk

They finally phoned. They phoned, and I was less-than-thrilled.

Meeting two new people, inviting them into my "not-quite-decorated-even-though-I'm-unemployed" house, letting them sit on my red sofa (whilst banishing myself to the wooden Amish chair which is less of a chair and more of a tree stump [inasmuch as we don't have all the seating we need {inasmuch as we're newlyweds}])...well, it didn't sound like fun.

Not to mention the small talk.

But I try to do what's right, and they were just trying to do the same, so I figured I wouldn't make it harder than necessary for them.

So they came. They came, and they sat on my red couch (which you can see in the above photos, barely), and I fidgeted around on the tree stump chair. They asked me how I was doing and then proceeded to compare notes on their kids' kindergarten teachers for 15 minutes, while I sat silently squirming. They brought me an apple pie, which was nice (though I promptly bequeathed it to my mother-in-law on account of I don't like pie).

Then they remembered I was there, and shared with me a message, which was also nice, but by the time they got around to it, my bottom (bottom!) was growing numb and all I wanted was for them to vacate the premises so I could get rid of the apple pie and get on with my life.

But they wanted to chat more, asking me when we're having kids, and then why we are waiting so long to have kids (to which I sincerely wanted to respond, "because I don't want to end up like you," but that might have only estranged them). I explained I want to get my degree before I have kids, so in the (un?)likely event of Poor Kyle divorcing me for being such a nasty people-person, I would have an education to put on a resumé. And then I explained I can't go to school just yet because it costs $7,000/semester now, instead of much less once I get my Canadian paperwork completed. And no, I can't work either (unless I want to get deported [which I kind of do, but still...]), so I am basically an S.A.H.W.: Stay at Home Wife. And yes, since they asked, it does go against everything I stand/sit for, and I know Anne of Green Gables would be disappointed in me. I do bake, though.

"But I don't babysit," I added (since I've learned to set ladies straight on that subject as soon as they find out my lack of daily responsibilities).

And then they left, hopefully for another five months until they feel so immensely guilty for neglecting their duties that they phone me once again.

I know I'm flippant; I know it's my fault I don't like the idea--not theirs. But I'm not even going to try to rationalise away my bad behaviour. Perhaps someday, but not now...

...and I wonder why I don't have many friends up here.

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Blogger Geneva said...

Was this the first time you got VTed? That's one of the benefits of being in a college town. There is just enough married girls without kids that we can simply VT each other. Of course three decided to pop out some babies while still going to school full time. Now the bar has been raised. I'm sure I will feel your pain in three months when I forgo childbirth to work a couple years.

April 6, 2008 at 9:06 PM  
Blogger linda rae said...

WHAT HAPPENED? Why is it all white in here? Am I suddenly color-blind?
My eyes, my eyes!

Isn't her house cute, you readers?

The pie was yummy.

April 6, 2008 at 9:13 PM  
Blogger Cristin said...

That made me laugh. It reminded me of my 3 1/2 childless "young married" years in a BYU Married Family ward. I had some great VT, but for a few months I had these well meaning girls who came and stayed and talked for 2+ hours about their kids and other stuff the entire time and I couldn't relate in ANYWAY, pretty much forgetting I was there and all I could think about was how hungry and tired I was because I had rushed home quickly from work so that I could be there for our appt.

April 6, 2008 at 9:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow... white! i thought i was going color blind at first as well! VT can sometimes be a drag, i know. that's why you tell them to come by right before you have to go to another meeting! both sides are happy.

April 6, 2008 at 9:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this post. I thought I was the only sister in the church who had issues with R.S. responsibilities. Pretty sure that qualified for a one way ticket to NOT the Celestial kingdom.

Thankfully, I'm sequestered in the Primary and don't have to deal with the ladies anymore. Does affect the friendships though. Oh well.

April 7, 2008 at 5:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm your friend. and i think your plan makes perfect sense, to get a degree first.achool and kids at same time..sounds like physical exhaustion territory.
i guess one advantage of being the kids in the house is we could run when the home teachers arrived, if mother hadn't already tracked and placed us on display.
at least we all mean well. and yeah, lr, camille's place is lovely. pretty,very homey.

April 7, 2008 at 6:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

April 7, 2008 at 7:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


You'd better watch out...What if they read your blog? You don't want to cause any hurt feelings. Just TRY to make friends. It would be good for you.

April 7, 2008 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger lindser-lou said...

i want to see more pictures of your cute house!!! even the not-so-decorated parts, because i know they have some kind of cute camille touch to them!

April 7, 2008 at 11:40 AM  
Blogger A Letter To Kayleen said...

wow. you really aren't a people person. i had just figured you were all talk. at least you're true to who you are. friends are for people without family, anyway. ;)

ummm...owen--bad news????

i was in the middle of that song on my ipod coming home from running. (yes. i run. unlike you, i am all talk on my blog.) it had just finished playing when i opened up your site. strange.

April 7, 2008 at 4:19 PM  
Blogger A Letter To Kayleen said...

ps. love the white background. it feels so fresh and so clean, clean.

April 7, 2008 at 6:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Down with the white background. Color, any color, not a non-color. The red was so cheerful. In fact the day before I was reading other blogs and said to myself these just aren't as sharp looking as Camille's because they have no color. Now you have no color. Please, please add color.

April 7, 2008 at 10:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Re: To the Doctor

You made me laugh. Touche.

From: Flippant

April 7, 2008 at 10:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Re:To Flippant

You surprise me with your genuinely gracious, conciliatory response. Touche.

(I hope "touche" is not some Quebecois appellation for, "I will find you, and you will babysit". Because then i will have clearly misused it, having no babies to offer in kind.Sounded cool though.)

From: The Doctor (Having left the province,now in temporary hiding/rehab/at the spa.)

April 8, 2008 at 7:00 AM  

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