Archives of Our Lives

{a narrow and broad look into the lives of people I love}

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Hairway to Hell (Hairdos on Trial)

I've always had issues with my hair. From a very young age, my mother forced toxic chemicals on my otherwise-straight hair, with the hopes it my curl and bounce like Shirley Temples. It did neither, instead forging its way down a lonely lifelong path I like to call "Hairway to Hell."

Exhibit A--Two Years Old:


When we finally realised that perming my hair wasn't working for my disobedient locks, it became an uphill struggle to find a hairstyle that could handle my daily escapades without turning stringy (as stick-straight hair is wont to do). My mother was of the "Let's-Brush-it--and-Fluff-it-and-Tie-it-Back-Conservatively" school of thought.

Exhibit B--Neighborhood Preschool Class Photo:

During this period in my life, I was not the cutest girl in class--but I was at least presentable.

Exhibit C--1st Grade:

Then something terrible happened: I learned about independence. Somewhere along the lines, some teacher planted seeds of revolution into my already-impressionable mind. I grew, I learned, and I became sure that I knew better than everyone else--my mother included. Every outfit I wore had to be my own creation. Every extracurricular she signed me up for that didn't sound fun turned into a war zone. And you'd better believe that every school year on picture day, my hair became a battle of wills between my mother and me. Now, anyone who knows my mother can see that she is strong-willed. Probably the most strong-willed person I know. But she also knew to choose her battles. My guess is that she became so exhausted from forcing me to continue piano lessons and singing classes and dance and softball, she decided to let the hair issues...slide. I was that kind of kid. I give you...

Exhibit D--"The Scraggle-Haired Girl," or "How I thought I Could Do it Better:"


Exhibit E--"Seriously?" or "Seriously??" or "I Even Fought to Wear a Christmas Dress When School Pictures Were in the September:"

Finally, about the fifth grade (grade five, Canadians), I decided that brushing my hair might be a worthwhile activity. I got myself some bangs cut, found a can of hairspray, and got with it.

Exhibit F--Still-Not-as-Cute-as-Some-but-at-Least-Maintained:


Unfortunately, within a few months, those bangs grew out. Instead of getting them trimmed like any normal person would do, I took a page out of the oh-so popular Rebecca Donaldson-Katsopolis from the after school sitcom "Full House."

Exhibit G--My Hairdo Hero (circa 1996):

Unfortunately I could not find a photo from this tragic phase of my life. I know some exist, but I have an inkling they're back in Arizona with my family. Not to fear, though! My bangs are just long enough now to capture the general idea of my fifth grade hairstyle:

Exhibit F--How My Hair Looked [an Approximate Re-creation]:




And while the above photos are horrific (for I'd only just woken up [despite the fact I'm wearing pearls]), trust me when I say: my actual fifth-grade hair was much worse. The bangs were higher, my hair was swoopier, and it was truly a bad phase of my life.

Please...don't try this at home.

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11 Comments:

Anonymous Kyrie Shumway said...

LOL I always loved those dresses Camille.

March 27, 2008 at 10:07 AM  
Blogger lindser-lou said...

OH THE DOILIE NECKLINES.....YOU ARE A BRAVE WOMAN TO POST PICS OF YOUR YOUNGER YEARS..MINE ARE ALL LOCKED UP AND HIDDEN AWAY...NO ONE NEEDS TO SEE THAT PHASE OF MY LIFE....IT WAS A BAD TIME FOR MY "BOY BANGS" AND "TOO FAR ON THE SIDE OF MY HEAD - PART". BAD DAYS INDEED.

March 27, 2008 at 11:11 AM  
Blogger Alicia said...

I promise that if I were brave enough to post my elementary school pictures, you would feel much better about yours. But I'm not brave enough. Oh well.

Thanks for your comment on our blog, and for moving "Sweet Escape" up on your playlist. :) I love the P.K. story about it too. Oh, and even though we don't really know each other (although I'm a Mesa girl through and through, but have been relocated to the foreign country of norther Cali), I've added you to my "Friends" links. Hope you don't mind too much. :)

March 27, 2008 at 1:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hairway to hell- its like you took the words straight out of my mouth. haha- oh, and i always loved "rebecca's" hairdo. but, somehow, those hairdos you see on tv never seem to actually work on me.

March 27, 2008 at 4:34 PM  
Anonymous mooshinindy said...

Hot pink scrunchies.
On the side of my head.
With a side of perm and a serious claw bang.
Totally.

March 27, 2008 at 5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOVE the new song. I can totally relate to this blog. oh ya.

March 27, 2008 at 5:59 PM  
Blogger Geneva said...

You know, I had the same hair style in exhibit F. The "wave" was soooooooo cool. .As are the pearls with the T-shirt

March 27, 2008 at 6:12 PM  
Blogger Kathryn said...

3rd grade until about 11th grade were killers for me. I went through the phase of not letting my mom touch my hair and I guess I never did it either, so off it came. My long hair went straight to my chin. I cried - a bunch. I'm still learning how to have cute hair.

March 27, 2008 at 9:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think it was in 2nd grade- i would wear my hair in a slicked back ponytail EVERY SINGLE FLIPPIN' DAY. i never let my hair style change.

March 27, 2008 at 9:22 PM  
Blogger Loralee Choate said...

Dude! I was totally going to do a post about my hair today. Great minds and all that...

March 27, 2008 at 11:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Millie,

Thanks for the blast to the past. It brought back lots of memories! (Alas, gone are the days of Full House. [That should be underlined because it's a title of a TV show, but the computer won't let me do it here.] Too bad. I always thought Jesse was so cute!)

March 28, 2008 at 11:16 AM  

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