Archives of Our Lives

{a narrow and broad look into the lives of people I love}

Thursday, August 28, 2008

{A Lesson in Self-Assertion}

Question, from Anonymous: "Though you often [don't you mean 'always,' Anonymous?] speak entertainingly, with typically appropriate grammar, almost always correctly spelled, sometimes you do speak unkindly. Likely the reason the Mayberry story was never reposted.
My question is this; did someone close to you ask for it's removal, or was it your own conscience..moment of clarity...some kind of personal improvement, that has never brought it back, in spite of the pleading voices of so many?"

Answer, from me: This is an interesting question, and obviously written by a long-time reader of AoOL. For anybody new here, I’ll give a brief history: I wrote a post earlier this year. It was an opinionated essay about a topic which was not directly related to me. Some people thought it was none of my business and that I had no right to write what I did. I made some people mad. And when I was confronted, I found myself wussing out like a child in trouble, rather than standing up for myself and my opinions (which were, incidentally, totally warranted and right [hey, it's my blog!]). After the minor confrontation, I was prevailed upon to delete the post known as "Mayberry." Hurt feelings and all that. Since I am such a passive-aggressive person when it comes to confrontation (hello! I write a blog! It's how I vent my frustrations with society with little chance of negative repercussions!), I removed the published post. [And also, I’m a coward.]

I instantly regretted taking it off my blog. Because I should have principles, and besides, I’m rarely wrong. I should have just said, "I'm sorry you have let your feelings become hurt. You misunderstood my words so badly, there is no way you could possibly understand what I actually meant by them. But I meant no ill, and I make a point of never apologising for things I write. Ciao." Good thing I have had months to re-think it, because if it ever happens again...well...

Anyway, not realizing that Blogger would fully delete the well-written and profoundly “me” (if I do say so myself) post, I mourned its loss immensely. But it was too late—Mayberry was gone forever.

So, Anonymous, you ask if there has been any huge personal improvement? The answer is no—I’m as good as I’ll ever be. To tell you the truth, if I had a backup of the controversial post in my email inbox, I would almost surely re-post it here for all the world to see. As the lyrics of a popular song go, "I’m not mean—people are just too sensitive." (But I would never say that to someone’s face, because hello! Chicken!)

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19 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Camille,

Please just leave this alone. It's none of your business. I don't care if it is your blog. You need to consider others and their feelings in your writing, regardless of whether or not it is technically right. Forget about it already.

Your sister

August 28, 2008 at 6:33 AM  
Blogger HeatherPride said...

Whew, Camille - I don't know what kind of firestorm has kicked up in the past because I've only been reading your blog for the last couple of months. During my time here I have found you witty, clever, funny, sincere, and basically someone I think I'd get along with well in RL. I have never found you to be mean.

You're right to defend your blog. No one is making people read it. (I will, however, continue to read it because I think you are awesome.)

For what it's worth.

And one other thing?? People who make insulting comments anonymously cowards. Own it, Anon!

August 28, 2008 at 6:56 AM  
Blogger HeatherPride said...

um, that's ARE cowards. Right on.

August 28, 2008 at 6:57 AM  
Blogger jeff said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

August 28, 2008 at 7:39 AM  
Blogger Camille said...

My sister,

Well, inasmuch as I DON'T HAVE A COPY OF IT, you have very little to be worried about. I was asked a question, and it was one of the last questions I have to answer, because for some reason or another, the questions have stopped coming. I saved it for the end because I knew it would tick you off. Don't be ticked off.

HeatherPride,

I like you.

Jeff,

That's okay, I figured it was your question. You've been a fine supporter of my blog over the past (almost) year, and I appreciate all the comments, even if some of them do rile up my other readers. Controversy is good for the soul. : )

August 28, 2008 at 7:54 AM  
Anonymous same said...

P.S.@Heather, you are so very right, i'm a huge coward. Look in the dictionary under 'passive-aggressive', you'll see a bad drawing of my sadly misshapened head.

August 28, 2008 at 7:56 AM  
Blogger chelsie said...

I too am sad that i never got to read it; however, i am glad that the dilemma has given you time to reflect on your person.

Drive safe!!!!!

August 28, 2008 at 10:22 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Ah...the deleting of a post. I have done that in the past. And when I say past I mean 2 months ago. I think sometimes people are way too sensitive and mixed with the fact that they don't completely know you, they think things come across worse than they are. I hate that. I stand with you on this issue completely.

If someone has been reading your blog for so long...why comment anonymously? Foolish.

I am a coward. I deleted my Twilight blog because haters started posint about me and Ted on their blogs. It freaked me out. Should I have stood my ground and not deleted it? Yes. But now I have more time to do important stuff...like watch the Food Network.

August 28, 2008 at 2:20 PM  
Blogger RatalieNose said...

Camille, if you were still living in the U.S. which presidential candidate would you be voting for?

August 28, 2008 at 7:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hm... interesting question ratalie. i'm interested to hear her answer.









anonymous power!!!

August 28, 2008 at 8:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

power indeed. my 3 faves re anon'ing?
i can say anything, without reproach,
i can mudsling other anons,
i can draw possible connections 'tween anons, 'tween posts.
In that spirit, i take it anon1 on this post is not your actual sister, but a church sister. NOW, compare the tone and demeanor to a comment made sometime after the old ladies in church post, going something like..."stop this...blah..i know the people you're talking about..blah".
same? BETCHA!

August 29, 2008 at 1:52 AM  
Blogger Joel said...

Camille,

I know exactly how you felt when you did make that post and I know how you felt when you pulled it. And I completely understand now wishing you hadn't, especially since it has become such a big deal here in your virtual world.

I am really good at "shooting my fingers off" when I am mad. I have been known to send e-mails to co-workers that are less than nice, and I have made a post or two (one in particular regarding a certain child of mine leaving the house) that others thought I shouldn't have. I generally feel some sense of regret shortly after I do these things, but I always come to the conclusion that it is better said than not. I am genuinely upset at these times, and the people involved should know that they pissed me off.

I did get to read your now infamous post in question, as well as the comments that were made following it. I thought the post well-written as well. I had no problem with it at all, all things considered (such as it was "none of your business" which I think it was a little of your business, as you were directly affected at least a little). And the person who upset you learned that they probably shouldn't do that again, as the people around them didn't like it. Sounds like an effective blogpost/rant to me.

It sounds like you have learned well from this experience. Don't be afraid to offend when you (or your loved ones) have been wronged.

And I fully intend to come up with some questions for your neat new feature now that I hear you are running low.

Oh, here's a quickie: How are the plans to go to Boston in the Fall coming?

August 29, 2008 at 4:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

another quickie: one word, each, to tell us of; costco, superstore, and/or save-on.
grocery shopping wise.

August 29, 2008 at 7:57 PM  
Blogger Aimee said...

Thanks for your comment on our car. Truthfully, I was a little excited to own Tamra's cousin. (It may have even influenced my purchase ever so slightly subconsciously. Maybe I could let Toyota know and they'd send you a little kick back.) :)
I, too, enjoyed Mayberry and admire your ability to vent in a controlled manner. I wish I could do that, but I tend to edit myself before I get near the keyboard - which is a blessing and a curse at the same time.

My question (and excuse if I missed this post): Have you ever driven one of PK's rigs on a roadtrip or are you always the passenger? Do you have any desire to drive such large mechanical beasts on long, open roads?

August 30, 2008 at 2:21 PM  
Blogger Raygon said...

I will keep my remarks to myself on this one. I have not commented in a while (i think) and I just wanted you to know I am still reading. I check i almost daily.

August 30, 2008 at 8:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wah weh, i found it. the comment on 'Lucky for the World',(feb 25,'08
), i was thinking of, "I know the people you are talking about. Quit this", (excerpt).

authoured by 'common sense'.

how fun, these phrases past.

August 31, 2008 at 8:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

get on it, girl! time for a new post!

September 1, 2008 at 1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAPPY LABOUR DAY people.

If you're labouring, STOP.
If you're in labour, BREATHE.

"SMILES, EVERYONE".

(from fantasy island)

September 1, 2008 at 3:35 PM  
Blogger Melissa said...

I thought I emailed you a copy. Did you not recieve it?

September 3, 2008 at 9:03 PM  

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