Well, apparently the disease has spread to the produce. I was washing vegetables for a lovely salad last night, when I came across a past-its-peak carrot that felt fleshy and bony and strangely like a human digit (Haunted houses, anyone? It's genius.). Inasmuch as there was no way I was eating a carrot that felt like a human finger, I tossed it on top of a pile of lettuce to go to the garbage.
And when I came back, it looked like this:
Gross. It matched my blogger finger perfectly.I got to thinking later (this morning in the shower, if you must know), and realised I've come upon something genius--this is just the stuff that horror films are made of! I can see it now...
Carrot Man vs. Lettuce Lady in...Where Have all the Vegetables Gone??
Not only will your children never sleep again, but you can forget about them touching their salads at dinner.
Yeah, carrots are gross anyway. The texture has never appealed to me. They are always too hard or too soft. And I got the "Here's how to use a Condom" speech/demo from my parents with a carrot playing the role of the man.
ReplyDeleteI don't much care for them. Wonder why...
Millie,
ReplyDeleteWonders never cease.
Poor, poor Joel. Thanks a lot for the imagery; I don't even know you, and I can picture this whole scene.
maybe that is how the guys that produce beggie tales get their ideas. you should write this one in...
ReplyDeletei will never look at a carrot the same way again.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a G rated site.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, i am so glad that you have such an imagination to where you can bring such joy into our lives as the horror story of the carrot and lettace! It truely looks like a fingure! Creepy...
ReplyDeleteHaha! Composty, Blogfinger.
ReplyDeleteUgh,
ReplyDeleteI am completely grossed out. If your horror film was produced, I don't know if I could bear to watch it.
Seriously scary how much that carrot resembles your finger!
ReplyDeletenot to be a nag, but... new post please!
ReplyDeleteI haven't read this blog for like a week and the same story is still on there. Why not just tell people you are only going to post on say Mondays and Fridays or whatever. That way people won't bother looking every day. It might be helpful to everyone concerned. :)
ReplyDelete