Archives of Our Lives

{a narrow and broad look into the lives of people I love}

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I've Got $25 That Say You Can't Make Me Laugh

**UPDATE: Thank you for all the entries thus far. Keep them coming! This contest will run until Wednesday night, May 28 2008 at 10 p.m. Arizona time.**

Is it just me, or are these things getting harder?

I am always trying to comment on blogs, and I have to go through two or three of these "guess what letters these are" games. Only they aren't the kind of games that are fun--they're the kind that make me want to throw away my laptop and forget technology ever existed. And I swear, they're getting harder. Maybe I just have poor vision, but I really struggle with these things. I can't even tell "i" from "j" half the time. They remind me of the eye exam place, and I hate eye exams--they stress me out:

"Ummm...P! No, F! No...argh..." [By the way--the last eye exam I took was for immigration purposes a few weeks ago, and Poor Kyle did NOT help me cheat. He did NOT shake his head when I called an "F" a "P," and he did NOT subtly nod when I correctly identified an "O." He did no such thing.]

Anyway, I read a blog some time ago whose author held a contest for the most clever made-up definition of one of these "words." (As a side note, you may or may not know that about 50% of all bloggers use these types of word identification applications to ensure their readers are not robots or aliens or something called a phish. But now you know for sure. I myself simply choose to trust that the 100 people in the world who read Archives of Our Lives are, in fact, human.)

So of course I entered, because I'm always entering blog giveaways (and consequently always reeling from the sting of failure when I am not givenaway anything). And I always secretly figured I would hold the same sort of contest. So I've been "collecting" some examples over the past few months, and today I decided to post the giveaway.

Rules and Regulations:

1. For any of the pictured word-identification sets, think of a clever could-be definition. Or, for sets that don't seem like word, make up an acronym with the random letters. Good luck--some of them look like they make use of the dollar sign. I'm very interested to see how you might incorporate the dollar sign into an acronym.

2. There is no limit to the amount of times you may enter. I know I personally get funnier later in the day, when the reality of getting out of bed is far behind me. So go ahead! Feel free to enter two, three, or 20 times. But do remember that this competition is based solely on cleverness and wit.

3. Link to my blog in a post on your blog. I know this rule makes a lot of people (ahem. Kayleen) uncomfortable, but if you don't do it, you don't get to win. You can still enter, of course, because I love a good laugh. But you won't win. You might come close, but you won't win.

The prize is a $25.00 gift card to the retail location of the winner's choice (i.e. Border',,, or even QT. Whatever tickles your fancy.)

Also, I may or may not give away a second gift card at random, so even if you don't have a blog to use for linking purposes, you may as well still enter.

*Special thanks to Poor Kyle, who knows nothing of this recent family expenditure. He's a real gem. [I love you, dear.]*

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Blogger Joel said...

feisty fairy queens all have quite kinky Johns

May 27, 2008 at 8:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mincher: small-sized adorer of hotdogs

May 27, 2008 at 9:10 AM  
Blogger RatalieNose said...

fat finnicky queens always hate quirky kids juggling

not very witty i know, but ill get better

if i had a blog id link it

May 27, 2008 at 9:58 AM  
Blogger RatalieNose said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

May 27, 2008 at 9:58 AM  
Blogger RatalieNose said...


camille's very nueroticaaly nervous regarding her husband's marriage (when I say marriage I am referring to the 2nd one which will inevitably follow your unlikely death)

May 27, 2008 at 11:11 AM  
Blogger RatalieNose said...


For $330 I will stop making you do these stupid things!!! No more, no less.

May 27, 2008 at 11:12 AM  
Blogger Loralee Choate said...

You know, if you turn that $330 to the right, it looks like a woman with two sets of boobs.

(I think that if you had two sets of boobs, Poor Kyle would probably be pretty damn happy to forgive you for a whole bunch of "Family expenditures". I'm just sayin'...)

The link will have to wait until tomorrow. I have posted three freaking times today!

When does this thing end, anyway?

May 27, 2008 at 1:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mincher; 1;a miniature clone of popular star of stage and screen, "Cher"
,2; americanized spelling of slang appellation for miniature doberman pinscher,3; a person who purveys a menacing pinch,4; a believer of the homily, "every mile can be measured in inches",5; a pronounciation of "miniature" practiced locally in several remote regions of the appallachian mountain range,6; a speaker of the word "min" as an abbreviation for "marion".

note, a horizontal line through the word "mincher" may most often represent the absence, the opposite, or the disallowednes of any prementioned meanings.

(my dad actually did bellow "min" to summon my mother marion. strange but true.)

May 27, 2008 at 3:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...



Farts frequently quibble at highfalutin quaestors. Kingly jackals.

May 27, 2008 at 3:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe xerophytes desert land worthy.

May 27, 2008 at 3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

founding father quincy adams hunted quail, karma juxtaposed.

May 27, 2008 at 3:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

friendly fancy, quietly applied, has quintessential, knowing, jocularity.

(i guess mine aren't actually funny, just wordy.)

May 27, 2008 at 3:47 PM  
Blogger RatalieNose said...

I nominate Loralee Choate

May 27, 2008 at 4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you would.
she's all about the boobs.

May 27, 2008 at 4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

camille violates new nose rules henry has made

??? i don't know

May 27, 2008 at 8:44 PM  
Blogger Loralee Choate said...

Ok, I linked, I linked.

But...Does it end TUESDAY (Tonight) or the 28th (Wednesday)

May 27, 2008 at 9:06 PM  
Blogger Camille said...

Dang it!! I screwed it up. But I fixed it. The contest ends Wednesday the 28th.

May 27, 2008 at 9:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

camille: venerable not neurotic real househappy mot@#&%$..$330.

May 28, 2008 at 6:45 AM  
Blogger Lost In Splendor said...

Mincher: (noun) A Mincher is an esteemed member of the kitchen staff who minces vegetables with ease and pride. Usually only working in the most luxurious of restaurants where they have need for such a specific worker.

See also: the worker's union for the Cunning Variety of Needed and Necessary Radically Honest and always Hard-working Minchers or the CVNNRHHM.

Mincher's Unite!

May 28, 2008 at 6:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

good work sunshine!!! i would like to be a mincher too. what should i do?

May 28, 2008 at 7:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

should i try the triple combo? i might choke.

May 28, 2008 at 7:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

acronym vs definition. neck and neck.
good clean party fun.
yet no acronymed mincher.
just saying.

May 28, 2008 at 7:31 AM  
Blogger Lost In Splendor said...

I think you have taken the most important stop by just admitting you desire to mince. Perhaps joining the union?

Hmm...acronymed mincher...

All I have is:

Many Individuals Now Cautiously and Happily Exiting Romania.

May 28, 2008 at 7:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ai, yai, yai, such a quick response. i have minced for ages, and will likely minch soon, making the SOD.

how fun to meet one of camille's new or something readers.

just off to work, got, maybe i never clearly heard explained rationale.

May 28, 2008 at 8:02 AM  
Blogger RatalieNose said...

Excuse me ANONYMOUS???? Are yuo inferring something risque or inappropriate??????

May 28, 2008 at 10:06 AM  
Blogger Joel said...

I'm starting my own MINCHER Club. I may well be the only member, as I think I'm the only guy that reads this blog, but I'm not afraid to stand alone!!

Men In Need of Camille's Honest Everyday Ramblings

Any others want in??

May 28, 2008 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger RatalieNose said...

If I were a man, I would join in a heartbeat!

May 28, 2008 at 11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm a mincher..i would like acceptance into the club.
are there rules in minchers club?

is that what the other magic nonwords mean?

May 28, 2008 at 2:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Men IN Club Heed Every Revelation.

May 28, 2008 at 2:22 PM  
Blogger karen said...

Mincher: An annoyed seven-year-old giving his brother tiny pinches, hoping no parents will notice.

Cvnnrhhm: 13km west of Clynnogfawr in the Ceredigion region of Wales, Cvnnrhhm hosts a quaint division of the National Library of Wales, which is completely full of words lacking vowels and torturous consonant groups.

Neat contest idea! You're linked!

May 28, 2008 at 2:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

karen's good.

May 28, 2008 at 2:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i was thinking gaelic-ish also. seem to hide vowel sounds.

cvnn-rhhm, a rhhm in which to cvnn.

May 28, 2008 at 2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(sitting room)
could work, in certain old inflected accent.

May 28, 2008 at 3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, some of these people are way too intelligent for me. I don't understand a word they're saying.

May 28, 2008 at 5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

neither do they.

May 28, 2008 at 5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

vu quoi qui edge


May 28, 2008 at 5:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(ssshhh. they're not words. it's a game, on the internet.)

May 28, 2008 at 5:39 PM  
Blogger Joel said...

Here's one for you and PK:

Lads Binging on Xbox Desert Lots of Wives

Although in all fairness, YOU abandoned him for a month this time! Play on, Kyle, play on! She can't bother you from AZ!

May 28, 2008 at 5:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i nominate joel.

May 28, 2008 at 6:01 PM  
Blogger Joel said...

$330: The current price tag of a tank of gas for the SUV carrying that 100 pound woman back and forth to work everyday.

(This might be funny if it weren't so blasted true right now...)

(And I really do not feel sorry for these dumb people described in my definition. In fact, they should pay MORE for gas. Kinda like an idiot penalty, but called something more PC, like an "excessive use tax".)

May 28, 2008 at 6:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

xamille, xamille,joel has the word.
we drove to church in the 70's, half block away, gas was cheap i would think.

May 28, 2008 at 6:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

to define $330 has become the challenge i cannot face.

May 28, 2008 at 6:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

got it.
3 units of bling.

May 28, 2008 at 6:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i know, weak.
i can see why joel won the last contest.

May 29, 2008 at 6:15 AM  
Blogger NVIII said...

one word: "Gay-re"

May 29, 2008 at 9:02 PM  

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