Archives of Our Lives

{a narrow and broad look into the lives of people I love}

Sunday, March 2, 2008

The 5 (Five) Cs

Here in Arizona, we don't have many bragging rights.

It's hot, to be sure. But really, is that something to be proud of? We mostly just brag about the heat so outsiders will think we're tough for being able to survive it [though actually, it probably just makes us look a little loco for not getting the hell (and I do mean hell) out of here. That's what smart people would do].

But other than the heat, we are hard-pressed to find something impressive about Arizona. The east coast has its history, the west coast has its sense of cool [which is innate in any region that comes with a beach], and the central states have their giant rolls of string.

So Arizona officials got together...oh...fifty years ago...and decided we needed a little more than a giant hole in the dirt to give us an identity. I can picture it now, how all the greatest Arizonan minds assembled, putting their heads together to revamp the state's image. It must have been a long meeting. Finally, though, they settled on a catchy little motto some of us know as "The Five Cs of Historic Arizona," or simply, "The Five Cs."

Copper. Cotton. Cattle. Citrus. Climate. That's right, friends. The brightest minds of Arizona, and those five Cs were all they could come up with. I think it's somewhat of a cop out, myself. I mean, "climate" was already a given. And "cotton" might be abundant here, but the deep South had staked its claim on this country's cotton long before we ever made it into the union {and honestly, who would want to sleep in sheets of Arizonan Cotton when there's all this Egyptian goodness floating around department stores?}. "Copper"--that might be something to brag about, but I'm not convinced; take me on a tour of a real, live copper mine, and then I'll tell you how I feel. Cattle--seriously? Oh sure, because Arizona is just...hopping with cattle. I see them all the time here, in the middle of all the dirt roads, munching on tumbleweed and palo verde twigs.

Our only real source of pride lies within our citrus--Arizona's one redeeming quality. From germination to the harvest, every aspect of our citrus is a sensory delight. If you've never had a chance to visit Arizona (and I don't really blame you if this is the case,) you should make a concentrated effort to roll through here in mid to late March. You will not regret it. That is when orange blossoms are on the trees, and a drive through town with the windows down will solve any problem you may have. Stub your toe? Smell the orange blossoms. Lose your job? Smell the blossoms. Suicidal? One whiff of those orange blossoms is enough to convince you that life truly is worth living. (On a side note, if you are suicidal, please seriously consider seeking out help. I don't think it's something to joke about. And then, come visit Arizona in the spring. It will probably cheer you up.)

After the springtime blossoms wither, the summer heat ensues and little oranges start their process of whatever it is they have to do. It's not until November or December that they actually ripen, and then...what a prosperous harvest it is. I was well into my teens before I realised that some people actually paid for oranges at the grocery store. Every person in my circle of acquaintance has at least one citrus tree--be it orange, lemon, or grapefruit--on their property. Most have more...

...And we are passionate about it. Tell us you prefer the gritty flavour of Tang™ to freshly squeezed orange juice, and we will lynch you. Tang is only a half-step up from Sunny D™, and nothing could save you from our bad graces if you drink Sunny D™ and like it. Nothing. As far as store-bought orange juice goes, stay away from Topica™--and anything generic. If you want quality, Minute Maid™ will do as a concentrate, but Tropicana™ is really the the only brand Archives of Our Lives can endorse in good conscience.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...


Well said, sis. Couldn't have put it better myself. I'm sure Garrett Biggs is bursting with pride, even though he won't ever comment.

March 3, 2008 at 7:43 AM  
Blogger Cristin said...

So... I lived in Yuma for about 6 years before I graduated from highschool and then went up to NAU. We (my family) came up with many "slogans" to try to gain some sort of pride from living in such a hell hole. (Sorry to anyone who loves Yuma, but it really was bad.) My favorite was "Well, hey, at least it's a dry heat!"

It is true though, the Lettuce Capital of the World (Yuma) produced some excellent oranges.

March 3, 2008 at 8:44 AM  
Blogger RPH said...

Well, said Camille. Have a great time in AZ? I am envious.
Hope to see some pictures. If you see my dear friend Kaitlyn, tell her hello.

March 3, 2008 at 12:34 PM  
Blogger Geevz said...

Now all this march smelling is dandy, unless you are allergic to orange pollen. Smelling the blossoms would probably make me turn suicidal if I could see the knife through my swollen eyes and runny nose. Can't beat the fruit though.

Oh and last week I saw a cow with it's face in a prickly pear as we drove down I-17. I almost made John stop the car so I could get a picture. Got to love Arizona

March 3, 2008 at 3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think that Lee who said mean things to your mother should read this blog and appreciate the goodness of Arizona, its oranges, and its sweet people, like your mama.

A dear friend of your mama.

P. S. Have you noticed how your mama doesn't write on here since that man attacked her? She is my good friend and I feel badly for her. It's truly a pity.

March 3, 2008 at 9:24 PM  
Blogger Loralee Choate said...

Tang and Sunny D make me hurl.


March 4, 2008 at 1:34 AM  
Blogger Mikelle said...

Ok, I am so impressed you actually remembered the 5 C's. I remember learning about them, but not the 5 specifically. I'm sure I could have come up with cotton or citrus, but copper? Give me a break. And like the climate is something to be proud of.

March 5, 2008 at 2:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no new post? how sad. think of all the disappointed readers there will be today. not to pressure you into posting or anything:) p.s.- i just love your taste in music!

March 5, 2008 at 3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Still no new post?


A Disappointed Reader

March 5, 2008 at 10:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

arizona sucks ass. america is not, nor ever has been, beautiful. just greedy. and murderous.
re lee's supposed comments bout mommy, i've heard your mom is a shrew who whines constantly about getting you back to arizona. i hope she get's her wish. most canadians i've talked to that know you, actively dislike you. grow up, you bitchy douchebag.

March 9, 2008 at 1:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no way man, canada sucks ass. i hate canada. you people are cracked, and you stole our kimmicam.and now you treat her so meanly. with snow, and babies, and old hags in church.
i totally hate canada.i'm with cammillama on that.

March 11, 2008 at 5:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think the last two comments are the same person. why are you being so mean to camille? and the nasty words, disgusting, grow up, don't be so bitter. you probably don't even know anyone who knows her. obviously you're projecting your own pain onto someone you don't know, she's my friend, so stop it. and flake off. we understand what she means in her blog, she's not complaining about babies and old hags, she's just making light of all this new stuff in her life,that she's brave enough to go through. and she's never mean, not like you and your potty mouth. like i said, flake off.

March 12, 2008 at 7:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i like canada and usa millie

May 5, 2008 at 8:24 PM  

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